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June 17th, 2009
03:23 pm
i had a creepy dream about my ex-lover, whom i still love very much, getting hit on by what was once a really good friend of mine. 2 days later it happened. so i'm pissed, jealous and a little creeped out. this isn't my first "prophetic" dream i just wish i had more warning as to which ones were telling me something and which ones are just dreams. and the worst part is i work with all of these people and will see them all in person in about half and hour. i kind of hate today.
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June 5th, 2009
04:14 pm - back on the farm
one of my favorite thing about coming back to Spring Green is the first trip to the farm. the local CSA just out of town, i'm not technically a member but i do a work share. i go and get my hands in the dirt; pulling weeds, planting plants or helping harvest, whatever the they need. i got back to Spring Green a few weeks ago and went by for a visit, the family that runs the farm remind me of the extended family i have back in Alabama so its lovely to just check in with them and let them know i'm back and best of all get lots of hugs and smiles.
today was the first day i went to work, i go when i ever i can there's no agreement or anything remotely formal. so today i was out in the field with Andrew the patriarch of the family. we were planting pepper plants. and while we worked in the dirt we talked about life, the ground, religion and family. it was a perfect way to spend the morning. and made even more perfect by being sent home with a bag full of fresh spinach, mixed greens and asparagus. i got home and walked my dog took a nice cool shower and then feasted on greens from the ground i had just toiled in.
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May 7th, 2009
04:11 pm - an evening with Leonard Cohen
the set list to the most amazing night i have ever experienced:
Setlist:
Set One:
"Dance Me To the End of Love"
"The Future"
"Ain't No Cure for Love"
"Bird On the Wire"
"Everybody Knows"
"In My Secret Life"
"Who By Fire"
"Chelsea Hotel #2"
"Waiting For the Miracle"
"Anthem"
Set Two:
"Tower of Song"
"Suzanne"
"The Gypsy's Wife"
"The Partisan"
"Boogie Street" (Sharon Robinson vocal)
"Hallelujah"
"I'm Your Man"
"A Thousand Kisses Deep" (recitation, no music)
"Take This Waltz"
Encore One:
"So Long, Marianne"
"First We Take Manhattan"
Encore Two:
"Famous Blue Raincoat"
"If It Be Your Will" (Webb Sisters)
"Democracy"
Third Encore:
"I Tried to Leave You"
"Whither Thou Goest"
thank you thank you thank you to every one who had a hand in this night.
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April 21st, 2009
09:01 am - back to the green
i randomly had 2 days off this week, so i through the dog in the car and drove out to Spring Green. even though the weather has decided to suck (snowy rain!) it has already been worth it. just driving here, trading 6 lanes and glass and steel for rolling hills and farm land made me happy. and we went to the bar last night and...well...just hung out. it was lovely to be ina place where you have no worries. a few good people around good food good beer and lots of laughs and hugs. it was the little shot of goodness in the arm that i needed to make it through the last 3 and a half weeks of my current job.
here's hoping the summer is everything it has ever been:)
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April 16th, 2009
03:55 pm - obsessive avoidance
in order to now obsess over things i have no control over, i am actively obsessing over and idea my BFF floated my way a few days ago; matching BFF tattoos. something i can definitely get on board with. so i'm filling all my spare time with figuring out a design that's not A. stupid B cliche' or C too sentimental. quite the task:)
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April 13th, 2009
04:13 pm - i have no internet, sad
today i officially let go of one of my oldest friends. i want to leave this coffee shop now and go cry. but i still have bills to pay.
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March 12th, 2009
03:48 pm - 30 days
So I jumped on the wagon as of February 27th. 30 days before my 27th birthday, my golden birthday. I can't say I thought I'd be here for my golden birthday, not in Milwaukee, but emotionally speaking. I seem to be quite blue, but at the beginning of crawling out of this SADD whole I've been in. So, 30 days and then we'll see. I need to work on self control and moderation. Not just with booze, with many things, but I think starting with booze is a good idea. Its the most destructive if I don't.
On another somber note, my maternal grandfather died a few weeks ago. It was awful. It sent my brain reeling. What am I doing in theatre? I work all the time, no vacation days, no sick days. Only a few weeks of unemployment a year that I'm to broke to travel during. But I love my job. My brother's tour came through Milwaukee last weekend for a few days. We got to visit which was lovely, he's going through the same emotions. But at this point I'm employed so I'm just thankful and we'll see what time and the economy bring.
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February 14th, 2009
09:43 am - kids
today i am observing a Kids Yoga class. hopefully i'll be assisting soon. this is all in preparation for this summer when i am going to start teaching kids in Spring Green. one more tiny little step on my way to my spa.
in other news i'm heading over to Chicago monday for a museum trip. and hopefully to catch up with dome folks i haven't seen in a while. i just hope the weather isn't crappy.
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February 11th, 2009
10:12 pm
i don't really feel like blogging but i do enjoy going back every so often and reading these entries, i have no capacity for dates and times so this is a great tool for me. let's see...
i'm in full on winter funk. am combatting this by planning small things every few days that i enjoy and going to a tanning bed a couple times a week for a good dose of UVs.
my grandfather died last week. a major blow to the entire family.
i've reached the age where everyone around me is pregnant. its adorable and kind of annoying.
i'm trying to be a better person. i'm trying to start hand writing letters again. mostly post cards but everyone loves getting mail so i'm trying to brighten people's day.
starting february 27th i'm going on the wagon for 30days. this will end on march 27th my b-day.
i'm trying to rise above the utter dissatisfaction i feel at my current job. its only temporary and i'm under contract.
i'm starting to abstain from negative bonding.
i feel like i'm standing at the bottom of a self maid mountain. i know that going up it will be really f-ing hard but it won't kill me. NOT going up it will kill me.
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January 20th, 2009
09:36 pm - long winter
i will not let winter get to me... it will, at some point stop snowing... the current snow at some point will melt... i will thaw out one day and even experience being hot... oh, summer oh, humidity how i miss thee.
there's an oddness peering at me from the edges. i'd like to shift my hope from "happily ever after" to...enlightenment? that's the wrong word, but things bigger than my own love. i'd really like to have some peace and some contentment. i really want to be back in spring green.
humble request from the powers: peace of mind and strength of spirit.
in other news: we now have Obama, so it begins. i hope he can.
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December 12th, 2008
03:57 pm - today hurts
i miss something that was never going to happen. i just want this crazy, stuck, frustrated, somewhat lonely feeling to go away. i had forgotten what is was like to be this sad. which means i've been happy for a while now and that was amazing but only to matched by the crushing blow. not even a blow just a chipping away; as low as was high. i now this will pass, i hope it will at least.
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December 1st, 2008
05:52 am
soemthing is up with me. i can't put my finger on it. it feels a little bit lonely, lot frustrated and some anger thrown is just cause. grrr. we'll see.
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November 30th, 2008
08:03 am
i guess i don't really think so, but sometimes its hard not to worry...
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November 15th, 2008
10:56 am - ...
boy i needed that!
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November 2nd, 2008
10:07 am - mil-wookie
so i live in Milwaukee now, at least until May. any suggestions?
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August 8th, 2008
04:59 pm - p.s.
thanks to everyone for your thoughts prayers and "hugs"
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August 6th, 2008
08:41 pm - amy...
DOES NOT HAVE CANCER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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July 31st, 2008
09:14 pm - lump
monday i go in to have a doctor check out the lump i found 13 days ago. stats and family history say i'll be fine but there's still 10% doubt and that doubt hurts.
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June 27th, 2008
05:51 pm - so much
i have so much to express but i can't ever seem to have time, energy and attention all at the same time.
we opened Henry last night which was AMAZING. the show is beautiful and it really feels like the near death experience that was tech and pre-tech was worth it. oh, and i drank alot!
i seem to have fallen in love, in smitten, and in crush. all are very strange situations. the crush is actually the hardest because it's hopeless and could very easily become love if... the smitten is wonderful-mutual and wonderful and simple and no pressure, the love is...well it hurts and then it's wonderful and then it hurts again. but we'll figure something out.
i miss my best friend something fierce right now. maybe its the previous paragraph. i'm terrible at phone talks and i want nothing more than to drive through the gorgeous hills of wisconsin listening to classic rock and unburdening my full little heart.
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June 21st, 2008
09:31 pm
stuck in Henryland...
3 weeks of tech...
all over on the 26th
opening i.will.be.intoxicated....heavily
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swampophelia's journal